“Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds one has found a treasure.” (Sirach 6:14) A friend is a true gift. We obviously cannot live completely alone. Each of us has different relationships with other people. Every day we interact with others: a clerk at a convenience store, a receptionist at a dentist or a client in a business transaction. Some relationships are more personal, such as with family or friends.

A true friend is a treasure. Many relationships are contractual: they are for the benefit of each person. I am in a relationship, because it is beneficial to me. For example, if I take tennis lessons, I do so because I want to learn tennis; the coach agrees, because he could use the money. The relationship will likely end when the classes have finished. Why do I have the friends that I have? Perhaps we have a common interest such as football or a particular hobby. We can have others in our lives with whom we share a particular vice. People may get together to get drunk or gossip. If others are helping me harm myself, clearly they do not have my best interest in mind. Such people are not true friends. False friends are with you when all is going well but then abandon you when you fall into rough times. True friends are with you in good times and bad, and help support you to live well.

With a true friend, one can be honest without having to wear a mask. I can tell the truth about myself and know that I will not be rejected. I do not have to pretend to be who I am not. I can admit my weaknesses and know that I will not be judged. If I truly care about another person, I want what is best for that person. I may give up my time to aid another for the simple reason that I want to help the other. My motivation is not so much that perhaps this person will help me in the future, but rather I want the good of the other.

Friends are able to correct each other, which is difficult, but it can be an act of charity. If someone is hurting himself, I risk losing his affection by telling him what he does not want to hear. I say something, because I care more about him than how he feels about me. If I do not say anything, it could be for a selfish reason that I do not want him to reject me.

One may feel that the alternative to not saying anything is to criticize in a proud, judgmental, condescending manner. There is another option, which is to tell the truth with charity and humility. I can be convinced that I am not better than the other person and communicate that I am concerned for the good of the other. It is difficult to receive corrections from another person. On the other hand, if no one corrects me, how will I know what I could do better? Often, we do not see well our own faults.

Jesus is a true friend. He knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us as we are. Because he loves us, He is willing to correct us, telling us what we are doing wrong. If we experience the friendship with Jesus, we will be in a good place to be the friend of someone else.

God, thank you for sending Jesus to be like us in all things but sin. Help me open myself to Him and have an authentic, sincere relationship with Him. Help me also be a true friend to others, acting for their good even if it involves a sacrifice on my part.

God bless, Fr. Mark
Feb. 4, 2024